The Open Diary
A journal of music making,
and inner and outer fires.
I started writing THE OPEN DIARY in November 2017 just as my first album struggles to overcome a painful production roadblock, and just after I drastically downsized and am settling into living in a single tiny-house-like structure with no plumbing. Just two weeks later, in December, the Thomas Fire surrounds my town and I evacuate with just a few possessions, waiting to see if my new tiny-space and everything I still own will be annihilated. In January, I return to an intact home more determined than ever to launch the work and voice on the album. Then, just six weeks after I return from evacuation, my mother dies after a long illness, but unexpectedly. I receive only a two days notice. Four hours after she dies, the final album files arrive in my inbox. The diary chronicles these ups and downs of life and art, moment by moment.
Different from a topical blog, the long-format entries of The Open Diary are more like a book unfolding chapter by chapter, in real time. Each installment contains several days of entries for the month. So you'll want to read from the beginning. Make yourself a warm beverage and sit down for a while.
WHY A DIARY?
When I was fourteen I tore my diary into pieces and flushed it down the toilet. I it terrified me that my most vulnerable self was documented somewhere that people could find. After that, I never officially allowed myself to call anything a diary. Then, five years ago, a friend gifted me a small pink journal for my birthday. I smiled and thanked her but I couldn’t imagine I would actually use the thing. I can’t say why that little pink book broke through the fear, but it did. I devotedly filled its pages then bought another of the same shape and size, then another and another. I haven’t stopped since.
THE OPEN DIARY is an intimate companion to my music for those who want to dive deeper. You can ask questions along the way, or read as if you were watching through a window. There will be occasional audio entries—my reading from the diary or playing songs—although the diary will encompass much more than the making of music. It is an insight into the constant mental dialogue that is part of being an artist.
I want this to be an exchange. The sample excerpt is the only free content. Everything else is available only to patrons/readers. You can read for as little as $2 per installment or whatever level you choose. I am passionate about artists valuing our work and our culture paying artists for what we offer. Patreon makes this possible, so I practice what I preach here. There are no tiers or rewards. All readers get the same access, since I believe that $2 to one person might be as significant as $50 is to another. I hope you enjoy what you read, and invite your friends to read with you. We’re going to have fun, share intensities, and ride this journey of life and music making together.